The heart is not just the source for love of a spouse/significant other/lover...it can also be a source for love of a friend, family member, way of life....But today I think I will focus on the the romance aspect of it.
Matters of the Heart: Love (or the illusion of Love)
Jazmine Sullivan's Lions, Tigers and Bears is a song that puts a very real spin on Love...Not that love is wonderful and filled w/ peaches and creme or roses in bloom...but that Love is scary. It's something that doesn't seem to last... To point out a few lines to show how dead on this song is, I'll start with:
"Just cuz I love you, and you love me... It doesn't mean that we're meant to be"
"Why does it feel like those who give in, they only wind up losing a friend.."
"Why do we love love....when love seems to hate us?"
The first quote that I mentioned has never been more true. You can love someone with all your might and they can love you with all their's...but sometimes that is not going to keep you together. All that will do is prolong the agony and the hurt and the frustration as to why is the relationship not working!? Love will keep you intangled in a cycle of good times, disagreements that turn into arguments, arguments that lead to silence, silence that leads to doubt, doubt that leads to accusations, and whatever else.
But because you love this person you forgive them and work through it...but if this is what continues to happen...it's no longer love...it's stupidity. I loved someone for a long time and he loved me... but we were like a match and gasoline...EXPLOSIVE. Definitely not meant to be. Looking back, I see continuing along a path of love but not compatibility would have led to a very bad situation. But I woke up one day.....Hallelujah! ....
Which leads me to "...those who give in, they only wind up losing a friend." I lost a friend who has known me the majority of my lifetime in the process. But in the end that is the price you pay to maintain your sanity and regain some real happiness.
Yet there are many couples who stay together existing in a unhappy state
....and continue to work it out...but in the midst of all that working out...there's cheating...dishonesty...betrayal....and even violence. They try to work it out so hard they get married, have kids, buy houses....all the while - the initial issues were never resolved, hell, sometimes not even acknowledged. And what do you think happens then?
Yep good ol' DIVORCE - or in some people's world... Seperation for forever! Or a household where no one wants to leave for whatever reason so ... they just cheat...sleep w/ whoever and come back home miserable... Anyhoo...different blog different time. Then you're left with final noted quote..."Why do we love love, when love seems to hate us?"
Love is simply a tool or a factor in a relationship. It's nowhere near everything in a relationship.
Perhaps Tina Turner said it best...."What's love Got to Do With It?"
Just a second-hand emotion I say. When people rely solely on Love to get them through, they are setting themselves up for disappointment. I could very well be feeling this way because I have been scorned before, but you must admit it does make sense.
I'm just saying...don't look away from what is right in front of you....
I agree on all three statements. I would like to point out the power of friendship. Generally, if you're friends with someone before being in a relationship with them or romantically involved, the greater the survival rate of the relationship. Reason being: You didn't love each other first. You were friends, who clearly had no romantic or emotionaly ties to each other. Therfore, you have more in common and more to rely on. So even if the relationship doesn't work out, you don't have to worry about losing a friend who was there from the beginning. When speaking from a romantic/relationship stand point more than love is needed to survive.
ReplyDelete