Closure

Closure is overrated...

I found myself reflecting over the last couple of “let downs” from the opposite sex. I have felt the need to have closure, to have a true understanding of what happened, and to hear them admit their faults.




For what?


Here were my reasons…or so I thought…


Closure – an ending to us displaying a full circle or completion. It’s like comparing it to the series finale vs. a show being cancelled; a murderer being caught and convicted vs. an unsolved mystery moved to the cold case files. Without closure, there are unanswered questions, what if’s and coulda woulda shoulda’s that can drive you mad. Seeking validation from that person or wanting them to say something that will magically make the pain go away is foolish. The need to have full understanding because one is so baffled will just lead to questions and sub-questions …. When you seem to be getting nowhere with those questions, you get frustrated and just want them to admit how wrong they were… They will never be able to do that. Then what?


Well welcome to entrapment! The need for all that is just like being setup for the same disappointing end. Whether a man gives you closure does not change the present situation. He will still be a dog, he will still have wronged you, and you will still be no longer involved in that matter. While you are pining away at heartache and confusion, he is still benefiting off of the same behavior he displayed towards you and thinking nothing of it!


Some crazy people don’t feel the need for closure or sane closure…as seen here:




Crazy/pyscho is not a good look! UGH! ....moving on...


Here is a…..um… an idea (I don’t really like it but hey….here it goes)




Here are some things I think you can do to give yourself what you want so very badly.


1. Compare his pros vs. cons. How does he measure up? Nine times out of ten, if he treated you wrong and left you high and dry…..he’s probably just a bit on the “con” side.





2. If he left you for another….Look at whom they left you for. If you can find that you are slightly or waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ahead of the person, find joy in that. Know your worth. Find someone who will appreciate it. Don’t blame yourself for what happened. You don’t deserve to be done wrong.

THEM.... vs. YOU




3. Honestly, screw principle; screw the lies that were told…..were you really that interested? Or were you an innocent party in the relationship? Where you screwing Paul while he was screwing Jane? You can’t get that mad then!






4. You need to Reality Check yourself. You may not have been as great as you thought you were. Or did that façade you were walking around with….magically get exposed?



You can’t expect greatness when you are half past average. If you were them, you wouldn’t want you either.




5. Re-direct your energy. Baby, find a hobby! I guarantee if you find something (or someone) to do with your time, you’ll lose sight of your pain in no time.



(j/k … say no to drugs!!!!)



6. Build a bridge and get over it!




Give yourself closure. Learn from it and move on. Don’t put yourself in the same type of relationship repeatedly. Accept what they did to you. It happened. Learn from it and learn to know in the future what is unacceptable.


Now, again, closure is not needed – It’s just a great bonus. I’m not saying don’t hope for it because it could very happen. Just don’t put soooooo much time and energy into it! Even if you get the answers and the apology you want, the pain will still be there. The only thing to truly help you get over it is time.